Ask the Patch Pros: About Bullying in Iowa

Stephen Schmidt (Editor) May 9, 2012 at 03:13 pm

One thing I do agree with you on Erv is that bullying can be curbed in part by students who stand up for each other. This doesn't mean it has to be forming your own posse to mete out paybacks, it can be as simple as just letting the bully know that what they're doing is low class, uncool, etc. If this message is delivered by the right student(s) it can make a difference.
An action like this also lets the bullied individual know that they aren't the one who is the problem. @Matt Shankles: What could fellow students have done (or did they do) to help you in your situation?

Chris Liebig May 9, 2012 at 03:15 pm

I agree that bullying is a real problem, but I'm afraid that the issue will be used to justify schools' increasingly authoritarian approaches toward "behavior management" and discipline. (Full thoughts here: http://ablogaboutschool.blogspot.com/2011/12/some-thoughts-on-bullying.html)
I'm all in favor of trying to raise consciousness about bullying as an issue, but I think the focus should be on modelling humane treatment of people, rather than on punishing the bullies more severely. Many of these "bullies" are themselves small children who need help, not vilification. If the anti-bullying campaign emphasizes channeling people's anger toward bullies, it could just end up modeling a punitive, dehumanizing way of treating other people.

Jen Alexander May 9, 2012 at 03:40 pm

When explaining reporting to students, I say that tattling is telling to get some in trouble, but reporting is telling in order to get someone out of trouble. It's important that we teach children this difference because it is critical that bullying incidents get reported so adults can step in to keep it from continuing or getting worse.
There is another important way to help stop bullying, though, and that's addressing the role of bystanders. Research shows that 57% of the time, bullying stops in less than 10 seconds when peers intervene on behalf of the child being bullied (Drew, 2010). We must teach everyone what bullying is and what they can do to stop it. Bystanders who do nothing or laugh along with someone who is bullying encourage it to continue. When peers are what we call "up-standers" and stand up for the child being bullied, however, that is powerful. This is not to say that kids should "handle bullying" on their own. Rather, teaching children to be up-standers is one part of addressing this problem. That along with making sure adults are ready to intervene and know how to help both the person doing the bullying and the target is key. It definitely takes a collective effort to make our schools and communities safe for everyone.

Warren J. Blumenfeld May 9, 2012 at 03:42 pm

According to the American Medical Association definition: “Bullying is a specific type of aggression in which the behavior is intended to harm or disturb, the behavior occurs repeatedly over time, and there is an imbalance of power, with a more powerful person or group attacking a less powerful one.”

Warren J. Blumenfeld May 9, 2012 at 03:43 pm

The problem of bullying and harassment should not be seen simply as involving those who bully and those who are bullied (the “dyadic view”), but rather as involving a number of “actors” or roles across the social/school environment. In one study, peers were present to witness 85% of the bullying incidents at school.
Some researchers have defined the roles various people play. Dan Olweus, international researcher and bullying prevention specialist, enumerated the distinct and often overlapping roles enacted in these episodes:

Warren J. Blumenfeld May 9, 2012 at 03:43 pm

1. Those Who Bully: the person or persons who perpetrate the bullying episodes;
2. Followers/Henchmen(women): those who are active in the bullying process, though a follower of the main “ringleader” bully(ies); 3. Supporter, Passive Bully/Bullies: those who passively support, condone, collude, or encourage the aggression; 4. Passive Supporter, Possible Bully: those who are unsure of ways to actively assist those who perpetrate the aggression, though they are with those who bully; 5. Disengaged Onlookers: sometimes referred to as “bystanders,” aware of the bullying behaviors, do nothing, often stay away from the incidents; 6. Possible Defender: those who could intervene on behalf of the targets of bullying, but for many reasons may feel disempowered, unsure of ways to assist, fearful of being a target themselves; 7. Defender of those Who are Bullied: those who either work proactively, or actually intervene, defend, and protect the targets of aggression; 8. Those Who Are Bullied, The One(s) Who Is/Are Exposed: the targets of aggression. This question brings to mind the old truism: “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.” Today as in the past, no truer words were ever uttered, for in the spectrum from occasional microaggressions to full-blown genocide, there is no such thing as an “innocent bystander.”

Warren J. Blumenfeld May 9, 2012 at 03:44 pm

So, one of the primary responses to bullying behaviors is to initiate experiences and training to empower the bystander to become the upstander. A number of school have "leadership trainings" for students to teach skills of leadership, including ways to intercede in incidents of bullying.

Alison Gowans (Editor) May 9, 2012 at 04:08 pm

Jen - you're a counselor in Cedar Falls. I know this issue has been in the media a lot lately, but what do you see on the ground here? Do you think this is a problem in our community?

Chris Liebig May 9, 2012 at 04:11 pm

In addressing the bullying issue, people should be mindful of the difference between persuasion and indoctrination. Trying to use reason to persuade people to a set of values is a respectful way of engaging with people. Indoctrination -- telling people what to think -- is not. Indoctrination is a form of dehumanization, just like bullying, and is part of the problem, not the solution.
Right now, the approach of the Iowa City schools is indoctrination. The behavioral rewards program used in all the schools ("PBIS") is entirely about telling the students how to act, and then using material rewards to get them to comply. It has no component designed to get the kids thinking for themselves about right and wrong and how to treat other people. In the end, all it teaches is obedience to authority. I'm not saying the schools shouldn't have rules. But simply dictating rules does nothing to help kids develop their own moral and ethical reasoning about how to treat other people. Without more, it just models treating people like objects to be bossed around and manipulated. If we want kids to treat each other with dignity, we need to treat them with dignity, and engage them in reasoning about what's right and wrong -- not just tell them what to think.

Chris Liebig May 9, 2012 at 04:25 pm

I also think we need to use some caution about the idea that bystanders are "part of the problem." Again, I'm all in favor of efforts to persuade kids not to stand by when someone else is being bullied. But it would be wrong to suggest that bystanders are equally culpable, or to discipline them for failure to act (as our school has done). By greatly expanding the definition of punishable conduct in that way, we would be modeling a very authoritarian type of government. The general rule in America is that people are not required to report crimes that they witness, or to police their friends' and neighbors' conduct.
Full thoughts here: http://ablogaboutschool.blogspot.com/2011/11/what-is-our-school-teaching-about.html

Chris Liebig May 9, 2012 at 04:31 pm

I agree that bullying is about an imbalance of power. One of the main models that kids have for the proper use of power is the way their school treats them. The more coercive and punitive the schools are, and the more closely they police every aspect of the kids' behavior, the more they are modelling the very conduct you want to discourage.

Derek Hannah May 9, 2012 at 04:31 pm

In response to Alison's opening question, I am aware of some bullying that takes place here in West Des Moines. I haven't heard much that is beyond the razzing and ridiculing that seems to present in any school - but that could very well be due to the issue of kids who are bullied being afraid to tell people about it. As some of you are talking about, its a very complex issue. Will the bully treat them worse if they "tattle"? Will others who learn they are struggling join in and attack their "weakness"? Does staying quiet about it allow them to protect their ego in thinking no one knows and therefore they can pretend like it's not happening themselves? In my opinion and experience, the key (as with most things) is relationships. Does each kid know ONE person they can go to? A friend, a parent, a teacher or counselor? Are adults who are in a position to help making the intentional effort to create relationships with those kids who might not have someone? From what I've experienced, seen or heard, it seems that most victims of bullying feel alone. As the panel is mentioning, finding support from peers to stand up to the bullying is HUGE but it doesn't have to be peers and it doesn't have to be public. Sometimes just feeling supported, even in different ways or about different things, can save someone a lot of hardship. At the YMCA, we do our best to give our young members a place to feel safe, supported and to create relationships with peers or with our program leaders.

B.A. Morelli (Editor) May 9, 2012 at 07:46 pm

As a parent with two elementary school children, the idea of cyber-bullying is particularly worrisome for me. How exactly do schools go about addressing cyber-bullying. As @Matt Shankles described, much of it is anonymous.

Dawn Ask Martin May 9, 2012 at 08:05 pm

Having been bullied myself, perhaps I'm a bit overprotective of my own child against bullies. He had frequently been belittled, intimidated, and physically assaulted at his Cedar Falls elementary school. So I pulled him out in 3rd grade and home schooled him until 7th, when he was eligible to open enroll to Price Lab/IR&D School. There, he had no bullying problems. It breaks the heart to think of him having to go to Peet next year, and face the same bullies everyday. After five years, those same bullies still harass him whenever they see him.

Alison Gowans (Editor) May 9, 2012 at 08:25 pm

Does anyone have advice for Dawn and how she can protect her son in school next year? Who should she talk to/what it the process for reporting she should follow?

Todd Richissin May 9, 2012 at 08:33 pm

Intimidation seems to be a part of sports. Is there a way for me to recognize when healthy, sporting intimidation (if there is such a thing) becomes unhealthy bullying?

Todd Richissin May 9, 2012 at 08:38 pm

And here's a story from our team in Minnesota. It's about a hockey coach who resigned rather than be fired for "bullying" his players. What do you think?
http://roseville.patch.com/articles/citizens-says-no-explanation-offered-for-closed-session-of-roseville-school

Melinda Harder May 10, 2012 at 01:01 pm

There's a movie called "LOGAN", with Leo Howard and Booboo Stewart, which was made by teens and young adults to address the issue of bullying and is a very good movie for teens to watch ! It also features two Marion teens in it ! To get a DVD to watch, please go to: www.realbean.com/loganthemovie/

Stephen Schmidt (Editor) May 10, 2012 at 01:04 pm

I don't know if anyone else has seen this story out of Indianapolis, but I think it underlines how complicated bullying can be for administrators, parents and students to deal with: http://articles.cnn.com/2012-05-08/us/us_indiana-bullied-teen_1_stun-gun-expulsion-hearing-school-year?_s=PM:US
Essentially the student was bullied and the administration (arguably) didn't do enough to stop it, so the student's mother sent him to school with a stun gun. Even though he didn't use it to hurt anyone, the student was expelled for bringing a stun gun to school because of the school's weapons policy. So the administration was following its own necessary policies but it somehow seems to me like they produced the wrong results -- a perfect case of institutional failure. What do you experts think of what went on there?

Jen Alexander May 10, 2012 at 02:29 pm

Like all school districts across the state, we are concerned about bullying in Cedar Falls. This year a specific task force of district administrators, counselors, teachers, community members, parents, and students was formed to address this very issue. We have been collecting data re: bullying incidents as well as student and adult perceptions regarding bullying in our schools. We have also been updating our district's bullying/harassment policy, creating a working definition of bullying so that everyone K-12 is defining bullying in the same way, and making our reporting procedures streamlined for both students, parents, and staff. Next, we will be looking at updating both our prevention and intervention activities for all students K-12. We know that preventive education is key for both those who may bully, those who are targets, and those who are upstanders. Parent and staff education are also important, and we are making plans to address this too. I am excited and pleased with our district's proactive stance in dealing with this difficult issue.

Jen Alexander May 10, 2012 at 02:32 pm

In our district, students receive lessons specifically focused on educating students about cyber-bullying. We involve our school resource officer in this process as well. From speaking with our school resource officer, it is my understanding that there are things that the police can do to track down "anonymous" electronic communications by connecting with phone companies and internet providers.

Jen Alexander May 10, 2012 at 02:36 pm

Peet Junior High in Cedar Falls, in particular, has developed their own student leadership group which is focused on stopping bullying. They recently put together an assembly about bullying for all students and have done updates to their reporting procedures. They have also worked to establish classroom norms with students, including how they want to treat one another to make the learning environment safe and positive for everyone. I know personally that all Cedar Falls staff are committed to stopping bullying and take all reports seriously. If you have a concern, please contact the administrator or school counselor in the school your child attends.

Jen Alexander May 10, 2012 at 03:34 pm

Derek, I'm so glad you highlighted the importance of relationships in dealing with bullying. Relationships are the key to everything. We must focus on relationships first so that students feel safe with one another but also with the adults at school who are there to help. We do not want any student feeling alone in our school community. Each and every student does need at least one and hopefully more than one adult they can go to for help and support when they need it. It is our responsibility as adults to foster a school climate where relationships come first and where relationships are nurtured. Only then, will students be safe, feel safe, and ready to learn. With all of us working together, we can create and foster an environment that encourages relationships, learning, as well as leadership for our students. Student voice is a critical piece in that process, especially as we look at our mission in Cedar Falls to educate students to be life-long learners and caring, responsible citizens.

Derek Hannah May 10, 2012 at 07:21 pm

Todd - unfortunately, bullying is often a part of sports when there is no supervisor/referee. It's one of many environments when "alpha males/females" usually get their way just because they have the strongest personality (or body) and are usually the most stubborn (derive the most fuel for their ego from controlling the environment). In my opinion, intimidation in youth sports becomes bullying as soon as it is intentional. My outlook on youth sports is that intimidation can come from the opponent's size, strength, height, or ability.. but should not come from the intimidator saying anything or unfairly using their physical advantage with threats or unnecessary roughness. Sometimes players are obviously joking around, like saying, "You can't stop me!" but the important part is how the 'intimidatee' receives it. You can usually tell the nature of the comment/action by the REACTION. If a kid/adult smiles or laughs it off, it's probably good-natured and playful. If the reaction is hostility or withdrawal, the line has been crossed. That is always what I use to judge certain situations. Different kids (and adults) can "take it" at different levels, of course. Therefore, the older the players, the more they can say/do more as a part of good-natured gamesmanship. This is also good practice for kids to tailor communication to their audience when a certain peer can't handle the same style of play/trash talking as they're used to.
So many things sports can help us learn ! :)

Todd Richissin May 11, 2012 at 10:51 am

What do you do when you seen an adult bullying at a sports venue? You don't want to escalate the situation, but at the same time parents yelling at umpires, refs -- and even coaches -- is a horrible example for kids.

Derek Hannah May 11, 2012 at 03:28 pm

Dealing with adult bullying in sports is difficult. You obviously can't correct an adult like you would a young person. If the situation suggests it, it's best to have an official (referee, umpire, Athletic Director, etc) who has the authority to warn parents or remove them from the grounds talk to the bully. If that's not an option, it can be really tough. That's why you don't see these adult bullies stood up to all that often. I have tried to remind people that it's just a game and it's for kids. If the players are in high school or older, there's not much that seems appropriate if you don't have authority at the venue. I suppose asking the bully why the players play (fun!) or asking them if they realize what they're doing ("You're being a bully") COULD work.. or it could make it worse. My first attempt to thwart such a bully would be to cheer in encouragement, addressing the negatives that the bully commented on in hopes of them realizing what they're doing without you directly calling them out. "It's alright Billy, we're just here to have fun, you're doing fine!" Sure, it's a little passive-aggressive, but that way you might be able to quiet the bully while also supporting the kid being bullied.
If it's a ref or coach being bullied, they're usually used to it and can probably block it out or just handle it. If it's over the top, usually the ref or a venue official will handle the bully. One of the reasons I don't envy referees!

Richard Johnson May 16, 2012 at 02:01 pm

Actually, that is not always the case, Chris. As a public school employee I am required by law to file a verbal report if I reasonably suspect a student in our school is being sexually/physically abused, either on premises or elsewhere. Failing to file this report results in a possible fine and prison time.
In my mind bullying is abuse, and should be treated the same.

Chris Liebig May 22, 2012 at 05:05 am

Richard -- You're right that it's not always the case, but it is the general rule, and only in special circumstances (such as in the case of teachers) does the law impose a duty on people to report. Kids are not school employees, and I don't think they should be punished for not policing their classmates' conduct. The exceptions are fine, but they should remain the exceptions, and not become the rule.

Juanita January 25, 2013 at 03:51 am

Are there pros for the victim being bullied???

Warren J. Blumenfeld January 25, 2013 at 04:01 am

Juanita,
"Pros" here stand for "professionals," and not "pros" as in "pros and cons." Best, Warren Blumenfeld